elfinblaze

I finally posted that last fic of mine yesterday, if anyone wants to read.

I left the house for a couple of hours after posting, because I knew I would only wind myself up with anxiety, so I went to the city and started doing some research for one of my book ideas instead. Will probably have to go again to places I missed this time, but at least it's a start.

I ended up buying Angela Carter's Book of Fairytales, which my mother wants to read now too. I had no idea she loved fairytale collections too. I may have to raid her bookshelf to find her other collections now.

Interesting read for the week:

The Rape of James Bond
I have attempted to examine the “realism defence” of the rape of women in fiction and concluded that if “realism” is applied consistently, we should expect to see male characters raped or threatened with rape routinely, because fiction consistently places men in circumstances where the threat would be signifiantly raised above the baseline.

- Hannah still needs donations to help with her surgery, so if you haven't donated yet and want to, there's still time. Alternatively share this link with other people to spread the word. Every little bit helps, even if it's only passing the word on to others.

- My sister has been telling me horror stories. She informed me that it's only 7 weeks until Christmas.

- Mr Joker: Did you see me walking down the street? Walking straight, shoulders back...
Me: We did!
Mr Joker: I think I'm going to need modifying of my personality. I'm going to tell every stranger I pass that they should be standing up straighter.
Me: I think those strangers will do the modifying of your personality for you.

Which made him laugh his head off. So no, I still have not learnt to tame my tongue, but I do like making people laugh.

- Did anyone else watch the ABU TV Song Festival? It's the Asian version of Eurovision, except it's not competetive, more like a gala. Most of the artists weren't anything special (just like Eurovision! Ha!), although it was still interesting to see the different representations of countries and cultures. I didn't know Australia's entrant, Havana Brown, but she was quite good. TVXQ (Korea) easily had the best performance, and I say this as someone who was never a fan of theirs, although I am familiar with them. Perfume (Japan) were good too.

I think everyone else had ballads? Which puts me to sleep at that hour of the night. I only got to catch up on YouTube with most of it because I couldn't stay up late enough to watch the whole thing, so there's some countries I still haven't seen.

- When I name things (blogs, stories, imaginary plants within stories) I tend to Google them, just to see if those things actually already exist. For example, mine is the only blog called "The Madwoman on the Computer" (in vague reference to the book "The Madwoman in the Attic"), or at least it was the only blog at the time I adopted the name.

Right now I'm working on a fic I've just named "Our Lady of the Stars" in reference to something that's said by a character in the story, so I decided to Google that too. Now I have to point out that my fic is not named after Our Lady of the Stars, by Coph Nia, although that's an awesome song (free download at the link). So I'm going to rec the music, stick with my title, but emphasise that I did not steal it from this artist.

- Spam poetry, courtesy of my inbox:

I can't take my eyes off of you,
I'm too shy to do this any other way.
I can't believe
I'm finally telling you this:
Coffee bean, that melts fat,
Keep the muffins,
Lose the muffin-top.

I've just finished reading the most exquisite book I've ever read. Tipping the Velvet, by Sarah Waters.

Extremely short summary: it's the story of seventeen year-old Nancy Astley, living in Whitstable in 1888, who falls for Kitty Butler, a masher (what we would call a drag king today), and thus leaves her home and family to follow Kitty to London. The book follows the next seven years of her life in Victorian era London, with all its dizzying highs and bitter lows, and Nancy struggling, growing up, making a life for herself, and finding her place in the world.

It's incredible. I spent two years reading the book because I didn't want to finish it, and often I'd put it down just to savour the feelings. The writing is so evocative!

Especially the descriptions of the music halls in the early parts of the book. I was literally sighing with delight over some of the writing. You should have heard me.

Sometimes, in the afternoons or late at night, he and I would take a stroll through the dim and silent theatre, just for the pleasure of it. He had, somehow, acquired copies of all the keys to all the Britannia's dusty, secret places - the cellars and the attics and the ancient property-rooms - and he would show me hampers full of costumes from the shows of the 'fifties, papier-mâché crowns and sceptres, armour made of foil. Once or twice he led me up the great high ladders at the side of the stage, into the flies: here we would stand with our chins upon the rails, sharing a cigarette, gazing at the ash as it fluttered through the web of ropes and platforms to the boards, sixty feet below us.

Other parts of it made me laugh with delight because it's just so accurate. For example:

When, after half and hour or so, [Miss Raymond] went off to find the lavatory, Annie made us rearrange our places so that she might sit next to her.
"Quick, quick!" she cried. "She'll be back in a moment! Nancy, over there!"

That made me laugh because yes, that's exactly what girls are like, and that hasn't changed in over 100 years. It felt wonderfully true to life and real.

So much of it just feels so real, like you can almost reach out and touch the characters and hear and smell the places they inhabit. It sucks you in and makes you a part of the book.

Previously, my favourite fiction book was Anne Rice's Cry To Heaven which was similarly evocative of eighteenth century Italy. Because I love writing that brings to life a place I've never been to, and makes it feel real and alive. In fact, I used to keep a book full of my favourite descriptions of other places from the various books I read. Whenever a description was particularly vivid, or leapt out at me, I wrote it into that little journal. Now, I think I've found my new favourite book.

My heart rate is getting a good workout. I finally posted another fic. Now I get to start biting my nails. It really is terrifying letting one of your creations go public. But if I didn't post it this long weekend, I was never going to post it and I would have kept tweaking it forever.

This is the story I estimated would be 10,000 words, turned out to be 14,000, got jossed, got cut by 5,000 words, re-written to make it canon compliant, thereby growing by another 5,000 words. And it only took me three months! *slow writer* And all day to post! *mutters about coding index pages*

But I'm glad it's done.

Now I can get another book read before Glee comes back! Maybe. If I read fast. It is 800 pages... Hm, can I finish this book on Tuesday and Wednesday at work? Given I only got 200 pages read this week at work, probably not. Damn work for keeping me from my reading.

I'm rambling. I'm nervous. I'm also shaking. Stupid anxiety. I suppose the coffee didn't help.

I'm going to go drown myself in chocolate.

I know I originally estimated this story would be 10,000 words...



But this is what it looks like at the end of my first draft.

When I write, I start off writing only the stuff that needs to be in a story, the skeleton, as I call it: the main action and dialogue. In successive drafts I then add details to the characters and setting, plus anything else I discover should be in the story, such as foreshadowing for things I hadn't planned on. So I'm one of those writers whose stories get longer with each draft. Usually by a couple thousand words.

It's anyone's guess as to how long this one will be by the time I'm finished.

I'm just going to leave this here:



^_^

10,000 words written this week, not counting e-mails and blog posts. Not bad for the slowest writer in the universe.

Let's do this in point form:

- I am on holidays for three weeks! Hurray!

- I am currently reading Jane Lynch's memoir Happy Accidents. No, I haven't finished reading anything else yet.

- I'm trying to do some writing every day and I have come up with an insane monster of an idea. But at least it's keeping me from blowing our bandwidth while I'm at home every day.

- Yes, I realise I have other things that I should be getting done. Clearing up the paper piles on my floor? Cleaning out my cupboards? What?

- I have a new LJ layout, if you haven't seen yet.

And that's about it for the week. Expect no interesting posts from me while I am on holidays, I intend to be very lazy and boring and enjoy every minute of it.

Dear people on the internet,

This is not a pre-school. Throwing a tantrum, yelling and screaming will not get you what you want. Not even on the internet.

This is not a primary school either. Calling people names will also not get you what you want.

Sincerely,

A fellow member of this space.



In other news, I think I've discovered the secret to my inspiration.

Anger.

There is nothing like fury to spur me into writing. In the past I've written stories when I was angry at certain people, angry at certain communities, and angry at fandom in general for not writing enough of what I wanted to read. XD But I need to be really exasperated before I get a move on with writing. More than a few of my stories (both fanfic and original fiction) have been written out of pure frustration and in fits of rage (one story I even nicknamed "the rage story" in my head because I was utterly furious with someone in my life when I wrote it).

The finished product usually shows none of that anger because it all gets personified and transfered into various characters, but it certainly gives impetus to putting pen to paper.

Nothing quite as inspiring for me as anger, apparently. XD



ETA: Marriage Equality Rally on this Saturday (15th May) at Sydney Town Hall, at 1pm.

I can't write endings. They always give me problems.

I'm very good at beginings, but endings, not so much. *throttles story*

And I'm really hoping this doesn't mean they'll kill off Lucius in Deathly Hallows. It'd ruin the whole point of the Malfoy family ending, [spoiler: highlight to read] that they can slither out of anything and virtually get away with murder. Plus, I actually like the character. He's got what I call the Long John Silver Effect: he's basically a villain, but you're still glad he gets away with it at the end. Besides, there are enough deaths in it already.

After reading this though, I'm probably going to end up crying my eyes out. The book wasn't that bad, but movies and TV shows always make me cry. *shakes fist at Torchwood, Brothers & Sisters, and various others*

I was considering signing up for dracobigbang just because it would let me crack jokes about banging Draco Malfoy, but then I realised I'd have to write 20,000 words before March and realised it probably wouldn't happen. But if you love the nasty little viper as much as I do, go sign up so I have more to read. XD I may, however, sign up for harrypotterbang next year because I like the way it's being run this year, and it leaves me with more scope to write about. And then I can still crack jokes about banging Harry Potter.

Maybe a challenge is what I need to inspire me. I work best under pressure, as far as writing is concerned. (In other things I just go to pieces under pressure. XD)

That 60,000 word story I started last year? I'm 10 chapters into it, with 3 or 4 more to go, and I am so not motivated. Urgh. I'm not abandonning it yet though. Still want to finish it, even if I don't feel like doing the actual writing right now.

And that short story I wrote this year? It's now 13,000 words and on Draft 5. That one's almost done at least.

I miss being at university when I was a much more prolific writer. Every time I had an essay due I wrote a short story. Procrastination is very inspirational. Now I have no time anymore. Now I can only write during free time at work. So yeah, 20,000 words in three months is a challenge.