I need to stop abandoning friends for work...

Ooooh, I have SO needed these holidays! I'm in the process of going through all my e-mails and replying to various people. This... will take a while.

But I just wrote back to Dave after, what, two months? I'm all for patching up friendships. I hate not talking to people for any reason, and this one's my fault, for being afraid. He's been nothing but nice to me, and in the end I don't want to lose his friendship...

I know I have trouble around men. I can't handle getting too close to any males, and I tend to freak and shut them out. Meh, I've spent six years of trying to learn to trust again, and it's not happening. So I've finally said, screw that, and I'm staying away from dating guys for the moment. It just drives me crazy over and over again. Girls are so much easier for me to be around anyway.

But I don't want to lose Dave's friendship now either. I feel so bad about everything, but he's such a good man. I'm just fucked up.

Wow, whatever happened to not broadcasting personal relationships all over the Internet? O_o

Anyway, I'm looking forward to these holidays... well, except for being around my mother more often. I want to make myself some clothes too, so I have to go buy the fabric. I just have to work out how much next semester's text books are going to cost and make sure I have enough money.

Hopefully I'll get some writing done too. I doubt it, but we'll see. ^_^