We have horrible discussions at my house.

Sister: My boyfriend owns part of a horse.
Youngest Sister: How does he own part of a horse?
Sister: He owns shares...
Me: He owns the left front foot.
Mother: I like to say he owns the tail.
Youngest Sister: So what happens when the horse dies?
Me: It goes to the glue factory.
Sister: Or taxidermied...
Mother: They send him his share.
Me: You should give him a bottle of glue as a memento.
Mother: Or a horse's tail.
Me: Give him a violin bow.

We were laughing, all except my youngest sister who was staring at us horrified. Apparently she's the only one who doesn't share our twisted sense of humour.

- Hannah still needs donations to help with her surgery, so if you haven't donated yet and want to, there's still time. Alternatively share this link with other people to spread the word. Every little bit helps, even if it's only passing the word on to others.

- My sister has been telling me horror stories. She informed me that it's only 7 weeks until Christmas.

- Mr Joker: Did you see me walking down the street? Walking straight, shoulders back...
Me: We did!
Mr Joker: I think I'm going to need modifying of my personality. I'm going to tell every stranger I pass that they should be standing up straighter.
Me: I think those strangers will do the modifying of your personality for you.

Which made him laugh his head off. So no, I still have not learnt to tame my tongue, but I do like making people laugh.

- Did anyone else watch the ABU TV Song Festival? It's the Asian version of Eurovision, except it's not competetive, more like a gala. Most of the artists weren't anything special (just like Eurovision! Ha!), although it was still interesting to see the different representations of countries and cultures. I didn't know Australia's entrant, Havana Brown, but she was quite good. TVXQ (Korea) easily had the best performance, and I say this as someone who was never a fan of theirs, although I am familiar with them. Perfume (Japan) were good too.

I think everyone else had ballads? Which puts me to sleep at that hour of the night. I only got to catch up on YouTube with most of it because I couldn't stay up late enough to watch the whole thing, so there's some countries I still haven't seen.

- When I name things (blogs, stories, imaginary plants within stories) I tend to Google them, just to see if those things actually already exist. For example, mine is the only blog called "The Madwoman on the Computer" (in vague reference to the book "The Madwoman in the Attic"), or at least it was the only blog at the time I adopted the name.

Right now I'm working on a fic I've just named "Our Lady of the Stars" in reference to something that's said by a character in the story, so I decided to Google that too. Now I have to point out that my fic is not named after Our Lady of the Stars, by Coph Nia, although that's an awesome song (free download at the link). So I'm going to rec the music, stick with my title, but emphasise that I did not steal it from this artist.

- Spam poetry, courtesy of my inbox:

I can't take my eyes off of you,
I'm too shy to do this any other way.
I can't believe
I'm finally telling you this:
Coffee bean, that melts fat,
Keep the muffins,
Lose the muffin-top.

Quotes from the day:

Me: *walking along street*
Guy: Hi there! What's you're name?
Me: I'm Regi.
Ed: Hi! I'm Ed. I just thought I'd say "hi" cause I thought you were really hot. D'you want to exchange phone numbers?
Me: Actually I'm gay.
Ed: Really?
Me: Yeah.
Ed: Bummer. I guess I'll see you.
Me: Yeah. See you.

Easiest coming out ever!

He was right though: I do look good in black. ^_^

The other quote comes from one of our patients. He used to live on a property with an outhouse, but he rebuilt the house and added an indoor toilet when his wife got tired of jumping Black Snakes every time she needed to use the toilet in the middle of the night.

"When I was young we were happy to crap outside and eat inside. Now everyone wants to eat outside and crap inside."

I love our patients.

And finally, I just need to share this.



Ok, so I suck at estimating final word counts, but I'm close now! Of course then I get to draft and re-draft and edit and rewrite. But still, first draft almost done!

Stuff that's going on in my life this week:

- I had to throw out my Awesome Boots because they were falling apart. But my sister gave me her Clompy Boots, so I still have an awesome pair of boots to stomp around in. Mwahaha!

- Galaxy Bookshop is moving so they're having a massive sale right now. I didn't find Those Who Fight Monsters, but I did find Children of Magic, the other anthology with a Tony Foster short story that I haven't read yet. And I'd given up on finding that book.

- I may have to set myself a goal to get through all these unread books that I have. Maybe read a book a day for a week or two. I know it's achievable because I've done it before, and it should help me clear out my "currently reading" list.

- I had a dream that I was in a choir and we had a major competition coming up in two days that we hadn't practiced for. It was so vivid I woke up thinking I needed to practice my solo.

Clearly I've been watching too much Glee.

This is what happens when you watch each episode two or three times and then spend the rest of the week writing up your thoughts before the next one airs. Yes, I am in a state of constant Glee!

- I like to collect quotes from work, but now I have a few I'm not really sure what to do with them, so I may as well share them here:

( quotes from work; names changed, as usual )

I love our patients. They're always interesting. And entertaining.

Something that made me laugh today:

Guy 1: Man, you are hot.
Guy 2: Thanks, but I'm straight.
Guy 1: That's very presumptuous of you. I never asked you for sex.

I am actually sitting on a more serious post to go with this weeks's end of Mardi Gras, but I'm still trying to convince myself it doesn't count as pointless whining, so until I succeed, you get funny quotes instead.

Patient: So what did you do over the long weekend?
Me: Nothing really.
Patient: You didn't go out an celebrate Australia Day?
Me: No. I watched Doctor Who all weekend.
Patient: Oh. Well, that's worth it.

My life is full of interesting people! Interesting and awesome people.

Mother: What's a buffoon?
Gloria: A type of monkey.
Mother: That's a baboon.

I am never going to let my sister live that down! ^o^ Never! I'm still dying of laughter here.

From to book Get Over It, by Phillip Scott:



"So we put our feet up and soon fell to reminiscing. I'd almost forgotten, but Andrew had actually spent a night in prison after the first Mardi Gras march. He'd been an entirely different person then and had only landed in the clink because he'd been in a seventies kind of relatonship with an outspoken activist.

Now Andrew reminded me about the first time he'd ever seen gay porn - at Angel's rundown terrace in Darlinghurst. Magazines, of course, from the pre-video Stone Age.

Angel's terrace had eventually been demolished to make way for an expressway. A lot of Sydney was like that, we agreed. Places which were once so important disappeared all the time. If they weren't pulled down they were enclosed in smokey glass and rendered unrecognisable. Soon the new millenium would be in full swing and we'd have nothing to show for the old one. What's more, nobody would care."



Ahh yes, Sydney. :)

I think Sydney has an identity crisis. Has had for years. It's not sure how to label itself. Old or new? Radical and traditional? British, Asian, European, American, International. Lazy, overworked, and spoilt.

It's lovely reading books set in a familiar city.