elfinblaze: (me writing)
We have horrible discussions at my house.

Sister: My boyfriend owns part of a horse.
Youngest Sister: How does he own part of a horse?
Sister: He owns shares...
Me: He owns the left front foot.
Mother: I like to say he owns the tail.
Youngest Sister: So what happens when the horse dies?
Me: It goes to the glue factory.
Sister: Or taxidermied...
Mother: They send him his share.
Me: You should give him a bottle of glue as a memento.
Mother: Or a horse's tail.
Me: Give him a violin bow.

We were laughing, all except my youngest sister who was staring at us horrified. Apparently she's the only one who doesn't share our twisted sense of humour.
elfinblaze: (Default)
Gah! So much to do this week! Writing and making Christmas presents/cards and appointments! (Don't worry, no major medical emergency this time, just my skin acting up again. I'm not sure if I want it to be eczema or an allergy, and which would be easier to deal with.) I think I'll be running around non-stop like a headless chicken between now and Christmas. Six weeks, people!!

My poor boss. She had two smart arses to deal with this week.

Boss: It was the wrong thing to do, but I thought it might ease that down...
Mrs Chimney: 'I think', she says.
Me: Don't you know you're a guinea-pig here?
Mrs Chimney: I'm going to put up a sign when I leave here: Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.
Me: Then I'll add a note underneath: If you've already abandoned all hope, feel free to enter.

We were laughing. My boss was despairing.

Boss: Between the two of you, I'm not having a very good day.

Mrs Chimney was on fire that day. Every word out of her mouth was a joke. She's brilliant. She said when she was leaving, "any more rudeness from me and I won't be allowed to come back." But considering I haven't been fired yet, she's not in any danger.

[EDIT: Hannah's surgery fund raising closes in two days, so I guess this is my last call out for help.]
elfinblaze: (me writing)
- Hannah still needs donations to help with her surgery, so if you haven't donated yet and want to, there's still time. Alternatively share this link with other people to spread the word. Every little bit helps, even if it's only passing the word on to others.

- My sister has been telling me horror stories. She informed me that it's only 7 weeks until Christmas.

- Mr Joker: Did you see me walking down the street? Walking straight, shoulders back...
Me: We did!
Mr Joker: I think I'm going to need modifying of my personality. I'm going to tell every stranger I pass that they should be standing up straighter.
Me: I think those strangers will do the modifying of your personality for you.

Which made him laugh his head off. So no, I still have not learnt to tame my tongue, but I do like making people laugh.

- Did anyone else watch the ABU TV Song Festival? It's the Asian version of Eurovision, except it's not competetive, more like a gala. Most of the artists weren't anything special (just like Eurovision! Ha!), although it was still interesting to see the different representations of countries and cultures. I didn't know Australia's entrant, Havana Brown, but she was quite good. TVXQ (Korea) easily had the best performance, and I say this as someone who was never a fan of theirs, although I am familiar with them. Perfume (Japan) were good too.

I think everyone else had ballads? Which puts me to sleep at that hour of the night. I only got to catch up on YouTube with most of it because I couldn't stay up late enough to watch the whole thing, so there's some countries I still haven't seen.

- When I name things (blogs, stories, imaginary plants within stories) I tend to Google them, just to see if those things actually already exist. For example, mine is the only blog called "The Madwoman on the Computer" (in vague reference to the book "The Madwoman in the Attic"), or at least it was the only blog at the time I adopted the name.

Right now I'm working on a fic I've just named "Our Lady of the Stars" in reference to something that's said by a character in the story, so I decided to Google that too. Now I have to point out that my fic is not named after Our Lady of the Stars, by Coph Nia, although that's an awesome song (free download at the link). So I'm going to rec the music, stick with my title, but emphasise that I did not steal it from this artist.

- Spam poetry, courtesy of my inbox:

I can't take my eyes off of you,
I'm too shy to do this any other way.
I can't believe
I'm finally telling you this:
Coffee bean, that melts fat,
Keep the muffins,
Lose the muffin-top.


Feb. 24th, 2012 07:15 pm
elfinblaze: (Hummelberry Tardis)
Glee review is coming, I'm just feeling a bit emotionally vulnerable after reading the most shattering book since The Bell Jar, and that last episode just stuck a great big pin in on top of that. v.v But I'm working on it.

In the meantime, I still love our patients (except for that one guy). Yesterday:

Mrs J: Now I've been here, I've learnt how he should stand.
Me: Now you can nag him at home.
Mrs J: Yes.
Mr J: No! That word is banned in our house.
Me: Well, she'll just have to badger you instead.
Mr J: That's even worse! You know, I liked you when I first came in here.
Mrs J: *laughing madly to herself in the background*

Nope, I still haven't learnt to restrain my tongue. But our patients really are awesome.
elfinblaze: (WM Spears Write Hard Die Free)
Quotes from the day:

Me: *walking along street*
Guy: Hi there! What's you're name?
Me: I'm Regi.
Ed: Hi! I'm Ed. I just thought I'd say "hi" cause I thought you were really hot. D'you want to exchange phone numbers?
Me: Actually I'm gay.
Ed: Really?
Me: Yeah.
Ed: Bummer. I guess I'll see you.
Me: Yeah. See you.

Easiest coming out ever!

He was right though: I do look good in black. ^_^

The other quote comes from one of our patients. He used to live on a property with an outhouse, but he rebuilt the house and added an indoor toilet when his wife got tired of jumping Black Snakes every time she needed to use the toilet in the middle of the night.

"When I was young we were happy to crap outside and eat inside. Now everyone wants to eat outside and crap inside."

I love our patients.

And finally, I just need to share this.

12500 / 13000

Ok, so I suck at estimating final word counts, but I'm close now! Of course then I get to draft and re-draft and edit and rewrite. But still, first draft almost done!


Aug. 7th, 2011 01:48 pm
elfinblaze: (Tardis vs Cthulhu)
- My mother to my sister:
"Drive carefully! I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, I need the car."

- I just realised that two weeks ago I dated a letter the 27th July, 2077. And then sent it off to two people for work.

This is me trying not to choke on my laughter. Oh my god.

- So, I'm going to go see the Glee Live movie on Saturday, the 13th. Yes, I know how tacky 3D is, but I can't very well complain about the Powers That Be not putting on a concert for me in Australia if I'm not willing to see this now. And money talks louder than words. Maybe next year - if this is enough of a success - they'll bring the real thing here. So riding on that hope... Who wants to go with me?

- And regarding the Australian census next Tuesday:
I wish I was brave enough to do this. But I'm not, and we don't even have our form yet anyway. But if I was brave enough, I would write: "As a queer person who don't count as human enough to have equal human rights, I cannot be human enough to take part in the census."

- I spent about six hours last night playing Talisman against myself, which is basically the most awesome board game ever. I gave up just before midnight, after my characters were getting sent all over the board and back again, and it got too long. Both characters died once each, except I couldn't be bothered taking them out of the game so I was playing with negative life values, because I can play against myself by whatever rules I want, and I'm considering raiding Hero Quest for some zombies, for when my characters become walking dead like that. XD

It was awesome!
elfinblaze: (Harry Potter Hermione)
Stuff that's going on in my life this week:

- I had to throw out my Awesome Boots because they were falling apart. But my sister gave me her Clompy Boots, so I still have an awesome pair of boots to stomp around in. Mwahaha!

- Galaxy Bookshop is moving so they're having a massive sale right now. I didn't find Those Who Fight Monsters, but I did find Children of Magic, the other anthology with a Tony Foster short story that I haven't read yet. And I'd given up on finding that book.

- I may have to set myself a goal to get through all these unread books that I have. Maybe read a book a day for a week or two. I know it's achievable because I've done it before, and it should help me clear out my "currently reading" list.

- I had a dream that I was in a choir and we had a major competition coming up in two days that we hadn't practiced for. It was so vivid I woke up thinking I needed to practice my solo.

Clearly I've been watching too much Glee.

This is what happens when you watch each episode two or three times and then spend the rest of the week writing up your thoughts before the next one airs. Yes, I am in a state of constant Glee!

- I like to collect quotes from work, but now I have a few I'm not really sure what to do with them, so I may as well share them here:

quotes from work; names changed, as usual )

I love our patients. They're always interesting. And entertaining.
elfinblaze: (Glee Brittany Santana)
- I bought the first half of season 2 of Glee on DVD last weekend, so this weekend I've been catching up with that and rewatching. It's amazing how much you notice fits together when you watch all the episodes back-to-back.

- Spoilers up to and including season 2, episode 16, of Glee, "Original Song": Glee relationships chart. Yeah, it's messy. And the adults on the show wouldn't be much better.

- I finally found that quote I was looking for:
Sir Ian McKellen: There are a lot of actors, I'm probably one, who are most at home when they're on stage. I'm sure it's one of the reasons I became an actor. I was a shy gay man at a time when it was illegal to be gay. The world was full of difficulty and the joy of theatre is that you get to the stage where you know what's going to happen next. That's a wonderfully secure situation. Most people would think acting on stage is a brave thing to do – but for us it's safe.
Sir Patrick Stewart: Yes, at 12 years old in the dangerous world that I was in, with a very difficult home life, I found the stage was the safest place to be. It was predetermined and predictable – and furthermore you got to be someone else. All the problems only began when you left the building.

When I first heard that a few years ago, about the stage being the safest place to be, it really clicked for me. That's why it's possible to be shy in everyday life and love performing or at least be confident performing. That's why I find it easier to deliver a prepared speech, than to socialise with people I don't know. That's why I immediately related to Tina when I started watching Glee. It appeals to the lapsed performer in me.

- And now appealing to the geek in me: Psychobabble: Curing homosexuality?
"It helps to answer a perplexing question – how can there be 'gay genes' given that gay sex doesn't lead to procreation?" says Dean Hamer of the National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, Maryland, who was not involved in the work. "The answer is remarkably simple: the same gene that causes men to like men also causes women to like men, and as a result to have more children."

- Wicked Pretty Things: An YA Anthology That Tried To De-Gay A Character and How Two Writers, Jessica Verday and Seanan McGuire, Stood Up And Said "NO!"
Author Jessica Verday was one of a number of authors whose short stories were slated to be published in an upcoming anthology edited by Trisha Telep, "a collection of dark fairy YA stories (with a bit of a romantic edge)." Last week Jessica announced she has pulled her story, "Flesh Which Is Not Flesh," from the collection. Why?
"I was told that the story I wrote, which features Wesley (a boy) and Cameron (a boy), who were both in love with each other, would have to be published as a male/female story because a male/male story would not be acceptable to the publishers."

If you hadn't heard about it before, this is a good summary of the whole debacle. Good on the authors for standing on principle, even at the risk of not getting published.

- Confessions of a Book Hoarder.
I hoped to rid myself of a quarter of my books. Nothing so ridiculous happened, of course, but the fact that I found about a half dozen copies of Joseph Boyden's Through Black Spruce — which I still have not read — and four copies of Lucy Knisley's graphic novel French Milk — ditto — was proof enough that my addiction had crossed the line into a dark, uncharted area, where intervention may be necessary. I thought it was also fitting that I found both of my e-readers gathering dust under piles of books.

Thankfully, I've never had any problems throwing out truly terrible books, and I've read some dire ones. In fact, I gleefully toss them in the bin. I do however keep books I haven't read in the vague hope that I really will get around to them one day. Some of those books I got almost 10 years ago. That one day hasn't come yet.
elfinblaze: (Glee Kurt Blaine)
Something that made me laugh today:

Guy 1: Man, you are hot.
Guy 2: Thanks, but I'm straight.
Guy 1: That's very presumptuous of you. I never asked you for sex.

I am actually sitting on a more serious post to go with this weeks's end of Mardi Gras, but I'm still trying to convince myself it doesn't count as pointless whining, so until I succeed, you get funny quotes instead.
elfinblaze: (Default)
Overheard at work today:

Patient in the waiting area's phone rings. He picks up:
"Hello, Prime Minister."
"Nah, just run the place would you?"
"Ah, mate..."
"I don't know what you said to him down there, but just pull him into line, mate."
"Cheers, Tony."
(hangs up)

Me: O__o

Turns out he's got a friend (called Tony, but not Abbott) who is going down to Canberra for a client, and he told his friend, "May as well stay there and run the country. No one else is."

Yep, two days after electing a hung parliament in Australia and the jokes are, naturally, flying thick and fast already.


Jan. 27th, 2010 06:51 pm
elfinblaze: (torchwood)
Patient: So what did you do over the long weekend?
Me: Nothing really.
Patient: You didn't go out an celebrate Australia Day?
Me: No. I watched Doctor Who all weekend.
Patient: Oh. Well, that's worth it.

My life is full of interesting people! Interesting and awesome people.
elfinblaze: (Default)
The week is chock full and out of the five people booked in this morning, the first one decided not to turn up, the second we had to cancel because his insurance company is playing silly buggers, and the third had to wait for a taxi that never came. A grand total of two turned up, the second of which had just lost her house keys when she arrived.

Physio: Why? Where are they?
Little Miss Piggy: I don't know, I've rummaged through my bag, and then I knocked the top off my Tic Tac container, so now I have a bag full of Tic Tacs.

Yep. One of those days all 'round.

I did get to destroy some stuff though! *_* I got to graffiti some old CDs with a pair of scissors, scratchings doodles on their surfaces, stuff like that. If you're going to destroy stuff, may as well be creative about it.

I'm also very good friends with our shredder. *pets it fondly*

Also, have a picture of our outdoor thermometer at 5pm yesterday, showing the temperature in both celcius and fahrenheit )

And finally, one more quote from one of our patients, whom I'm going to call Ms Optimist:

Ms Optimist: I don't know what you did to me last time but I could hardly move the next day.
Physio: I'm sorry.
Ms Optimist: Oh that's all right. It gave me an excuse to sit and read all day.
elfinblaze: (Default)
Mother: What's a buffoon?
Gloria: A type of monkey.
Mother: That's a baboon.

I am never going to let my sister live that down! ^o^ Never! I'm still dying of laughter here.


Oct. 24th, 2009 06:52 pm
elfinblaze: (Default)
Two quotes from work yesterday.

"I'm a 73 year old man and you ask me if I can use a computer? I have a mobile phone, I did get that. I had to call the phone people today to re-set my clock to daylight savings time. I had 97 missed calls."
- Mr Actor

Physio: *gives instructions* "... Otherwise you'll be a grumpy old man staring at the ground."
Mr Actor: "Think of all the money I'll find."
Physio: "Plastic cards these days. Not much money to be found."

I'm calling him Mr Actor not because he's a thespian himself but because he has the same name as a famous actor.

I meet some interesting people at work.

And my DVD still hasn't arrived, in case anyone cares.

*kicks universe in passing*

Yes, I'm still feeling like a sulky teenager. I'm just fed up with life throwing things at me in general. I feel like sulking.
elfinblaze: (Default)
From to book Get Over It, by Phillip Scott:

"So we put our feet up and soon fell to reminiscing. I'd almost forgotten, but Andrew had actually spent a night in prison after the first Mardi Gras march. He'd been an entirely different person then and had only landed in the clink because he'd been in a seventies kind of relatonship with an outspoken activist.

Now Andrew reminded me about the first time he'd ever seen gay porn - at Angel's rundown terrace in Darlinghurst. Magazines, of course, from the pre-video Stone Age.

Angel's terrace had eventually been demolished to make way for an expressway. A lot of Sydney was like that, we agreed. Places which were once so important disappeared all the time. If they weren't pulled down they were enclosed in smokey glass and rendered unrecognisable. Soon the new millenium would be in full swing and we'd have nothing to show for the old one. What's more, nobody would care."

Ahh yes, Sydney. :)

I think Sydney has an identity crisis. Has had for years. It's not sure how to label itself. Old or new? Radical and traditional? British, Asian, European, American, International. Lazy, overworked, and spoilt.

It's lovely reading books set in a familiar city.


elfinblaze: (Default)

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