elfinblaze: (Harry Potter Hermione)
Apart from the fiction I've been reading all weekend, I've also been reading I Used To Believe. It's a websites where people submit stories of things they thought as kids.

For example:

"When I was young, I used to believe that if you pushed the stop button in the bus it would stop for good."

"I thought the bridal veil was so that the groom wouldn't see who he was marrying."

"I used to believe the reason people were nervous about weddings was because that was going to be the day where they were gonna kiss for the first time."

"Thanks to my grandfather I used to beleive that there were things called "hide-behinds" that followed you everywhere you went and everytime you turned around they would hide."

"I used to believe that there was always a baby inside a girl, just waiting to come out. Whenever I went to the bathroom, I'd be too scared to poop because I thought that if I pushed too hard, a baby would come out, fall in the toilet and drown."

"I used to mix up the words 'prosecuted' and 'executed.' Every time I saw a "violators will be prosecuted" sign, I made sure to be on my best behavior. I was absolutely terrified that my actions would result in death if I did something wrong."

"When I was 8 or 9 years old, I read Harry Potter, and I was convinced I was going to Hogwards too. I kept believing it until I was 11, because I didn't receive a message from Dumbledore. I was so disappointed.."

"When I was younger, I would sleep at my grandmother's house, in the guest bedroom. She told me not to sleep under the window, because of the "terrible draft". For the following few years, I avoided that bed fearing that the "terrible giraffe" would stick his head in and hurt me somehow."

"When I was little I used to believe that the blank pages at the end of the book were for writing a different ending if you didn't like the original ending to a book."

As a fan fiction writer, I see nothing wrong with this last one.

The whole site is a wonderful read though if you need a smile.

Crossroads

Apr. 22nd, 2012 03:20 pm
elfinblaze: (Hummelberry Tardis)
Things that made me laugh this week...

From an old issue of New Scientist in our waiting room:

In the town centre closest to my house there are two crossroads where the traffic lights almost never function as traffic lights - they just flash amber.

Here in France the rule is "priorité à droite" (priority to the right), but an alternative rule "he who arrives first, goes first" is often applied by drivers. The latter puts a great deal of randomness into the equation. You need to decide how fast other cars are going and how likely they are to stop. Drivers become accustomed to making instant judgements along the lines of "Is he bigger than me?" and "Is his car worth more, or less, than mine?". Battered white vans and buses always have the right of way, unless you're in a particularly bad mood.
Occasionally the passage of a vehicle infringing the "priorité à droite" rule is accompanied by frenzied hooting, but you tend not to find that all the traffic has ground to a halt while the combatants sort it out.

The entertainment value of these junctions is much increased on Thursdays when a market occupies the car park between the two crossroads, invaribly meaning that vans, left wherever the driver felt most convenient, obscure the lines of sight, including those to the pedestrian crossings.

Astonishingly, in the 19 years I have lived here, I have never heard of an accident..."

- Halina Stanley, Revel, France


New Scientist, 9 July, 2011, No. 2820, p.57.

I also found my list of possible names for my laptop. Before I settled on "Gwen", other names under consideration included:

- Slartibartfast
- Raxacoricofallapatorius (just because it would be fun saying to other people)
- Zero Point Two (if I felt like courting trouble)
- Susan (named after Death's daughter)

And this is the ongoing list of names I have been called at work:

- Regi
- Reg
- Gina
- Robby
- Georgie
- Rowena
- Rajee
- Paul

Random

Mar. 3rd, 2011 12:36 pm
elfinblaze: (Harry Potter Hermione)
Holy crap... instead of "Lumbar Spine", I just wrote "Lumbar Spice" on a patient's records.

And now I'm sitting here shaking with trying to hold in my laughter.

Not even a typo. Hand writing!

Lumbar Spice! Seriously, self? What, was that the one regected from the Spice Girls? Ginger Spice, Baby Spice, and Lumbar Spice!

Has anyone seen my brain? I seem to have lost it.
elfinblaze: (Default)
Things you expect to hear at a physio practice:

"Ow!"

Things you don't expect to hear at a physio practice:

"Wheeee!"

Some of our patients have way too much fun with the exercise balls.

Star Signs

Oct. 21st, 2010 07:02 pm
elfinblaze: (torchwood)
I've wanted to type these up for weeks because these are the best star-sign predictions I've ever come across.

These are from 3D World, Tuesday 19th October. It's a free weekly music magazine, like Drum Media and The Brag, the other two competing free weekly magazines on alternative/indie music in Sydney. This week's star signs made me laugh out loud in public. Again.

Star Signs for this week )
elfinblaze: (Default)
Has anyone else ever found any weird foreign objects in their vagina?

Like, a long black hair.

I have short red hair. And I haven't slept with anyone who has long black hair recently.

I'm not sure how that got there.

Link Dump

Aug. 29th, 2010 03:01 pm
elfinblaze: (Default)
The Sad:

Still no government.

But if you've ever wondered what sorts of things people scribble on their ballot papers there's this:

Along with the pictures of penises, the votes for Albus Dumbledore and Adolph Hitler, and various misguided attempts to spell the word "Donkey", ballot papers for last week's federal election were, in their thousands, blank...

"In the past there would certainly be your pile of informals - squiggles, drawings, penises, pictures of people in fishing boats saying 'I'd rather be fishin',' but this time there was blank after blank after blank."


The Happy:

Got more books yesterday. You can all shut up; it makes me happy anyway. Including one great big black book called the Necronomicon, containing a couple dozen H. P. Lovecraft stories. Speaking of which...

The Creepy:

Infamous Cases of Real Life Possession in the Modern Age. Just in case you don't feel like getting any sleep tonight.

The Funny:

What is the best comment in source code you have ever encountered?

The Pretty:

Pictures of men reading
Pictures of women reading
elfinblaze: (Harry Potter "Slytherins for Harry")
Point form again, because it saves me having to make up connections between thoughts.

- I have AwesomeBoots. I call them AwesomeBoots because they are awesome and they make me feel awesome when I wear them, hence AwesomeBoots. *stomps about*

- I'm currently reading Let the Right One In, by John Ajvide Lindqvist, or rather, I'm reading So finster die Nacht, the German translation, and it has well and truly hooked me now. The first 100 pages took me a couple of days to get through and suddenly, BAM, I'm hooked, and now I've read over 100 pages in a single day. Swedish vampire horror, yay!

- This is for all the writers and artists on my FList: Have you ever come up with an idea that scared you? Where you wondered what the hell was going on in the dark places in your head that made you think of that idea? Because yesterday I came up with the darkest, most twisted and screwed up idea I've ever had, and I'm almost afraid to write it, even though I really want to.

- [livejournal.com profile] udara_jayyyyyyyy~ Have you seen this new picture of Tonks and Remus?

- And for (NSFW) humour: Ladies, whatever you choose to do with your pubic hair, do not set your crotch on fire!
elfinblaze: (Default)
There's a company called Dragon Removal, in Sydney. Just in case you ever have any pesky dragons hanging around your place, scorching your garden, eating all your flowers, leaving a mess, and making a nuisance of themselves.

Also, I love YouTube. I found the original performance of Paul McDermott and Fiona Horne singing Shut up, Kiss Me, from 1998? I think it was '98. I also found the Piece o' Piss Peace Opus featuring Human Nature, which I taped and then accidentally taped over, much to my despair at the time.

I love that people are uploading all these things I remember watching as a teenager.

Now I'm just waiting for someone to post episodes of JJJ's Captain Pants radio serial. If you didn't listen to it, it was basically a bunch of comedians, doing a bizarre story script live, which means they left in all the mistakes! It was cry-with-laughter funny, a little embarassing when we listened to it on our walkmans on the train to school in the mornings. The only thing I remember about it was that it was set on a ship, I think, and somehow Satan got tied to the mast, or something, and I remember Paul McDermott's character taunting: "Satan is a wanker, Satan is a wanker, Satan is a wanker." And then there was something about a potato famine. I don't even know. I just remember Mikey getting all gleeful: "We can finally do that joke about 'the peasants are revolting'!"

The radio show at the time was done by Mikey Robbins, Stephen Abbott (aka The Sandman or "Sandy"), Jen (the sensible one trying the keep the rest of them in line), and Paul McDermott dropped by at least once a week, and they all voiced several characters in Captain Pants.

I found a few more quotes online from other episodes:

Read more... )

And then there was the Weather Game, the rules of which were: they were given a topic, and after the day's weather for each city was read out they had to have one answer ready.

For example: )

Needless to say it made it very hard to listen for the weather for your city because you'd inevitably pay more attention to the game.

Also, yes, you can say "shit" on Australian radio.
elfinblaze: (Default)
I cleaned up two of my shelves today and found this:

"The Dow Jones is down, and there are rumours he's started drinking again after he was seen fumbling for his car keys and shouting abuse at passers by. The Nikkei is steady and is rumoured to be gay. The Australian Dollar slumped against the Greenback, saying he was his best friend ever and could he give him a lift home. The All Ordinaries closed five minutes early but quickly realised their mistake and opened up again, and the Hang Seng is up against the Yen in the next quarter final."

It was an ad for Martin Molloy, which should give Sydney-siders an idea of how old this is. That show was on the radio when I was in high school!

The weird thing is, I was thinking about this ad a few days ago and couldn't remember how it went. I didn't even remember writing it down. I'm glad I did though.

On the bottom of the page I also scribbled this down:

"In sport, Richmond is back after going down to Geelong. I went down to Geelong once when my car broke down and I had to walk two miles to the nearest petrol station."

Blast from the past for anyone other than me?
elfinblaze: (Default)
This was Monday's "Heckler" and I was so amused I had to save it.

Watch out or I'll cut you off

Pete Malicki
July 6, 2009

EVERYONE'S always banging on about road rage. One idiot cuts off another idiot and before you know it they're playing fisticuffs in the middle of the Pacific Highway.

If, like me, you don't drive a car, you might suffer the blight of walk rage.

Read more... )
elfinblaze: (Default)
My little sister baked chocolate muffins today. They split open slightly across the top though. I came home and saw them standing on the table.

My first thought: "They look like vaginas!"

Second thought: "I want to eat one! Not just because they're chocolate but because they look like vaginas!"

Third thought: "Yummmmm..."

We have Vagina Muffins! ^o^ I am ridiculously entertained by this.

Writing

Aug. 1st, 2008 06:26 pm
elfinblaze: (Default)
I have dark, liqueur chocolates, Gummibärchen, and I ate my way through a punnet of strawberries today at work. This is how every week should end. ^_^ *bliss*

On the other hand I didn't get much of my fic written and I wanted to get it finalised today because I've already missed two self-imposed deadlines. -_- Bad Regi. I'm terrified of posting it because I'm still relatively new to the HP fandom and I'm not sure I have a handle on the characters yet; I still feel like I'm floundering in deep water trying to write these characters halfway believably. But I need to post it soon because I've held onto it long enough and I'm getting sick of it. ^^;;

Someone pointed this out in the Herald today (Column 8, of course): Last week's lotto results, for six correct numbers first division winners each got $666,666.67 AUD. What everyone wants to know now is obvious: What's with the one cent too much?

It's almost as funny as the time the newspaper published the weather for Mexico City and listed the forcast as: Sand. Someone wrote in asking what gear was required in such conditions. Beach umbrella? Bucket and spade? Or a camel hair jacket? To which the paper responded: "Trust us on this... It was bloody sandy in Mexico City at the weekend. You're better off out of it."

I should go work on that story again now. Blargh.
elfinblaze: (WM Spears Write Hard Die Free)
Mr Rudd's itinerary for his last day in China is as follows: a meeting with President Hu Jintao and then a tour of a power station. The remains of the day will be at his disposal.

In summary - Hu's on first, watts on second and I don't know is on third.


Michael Deeth, Como West

(From today's Letters page in the SMH)

It made me giggle. And some people have too much time on their hands, thinking of these things and sending them in to newspapers.

Ok, off to work now.

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